


The Two Years

by arrowbrowsing



Category: Falsettos - Lapine/Finn
Genre: Foreplay, Funeral, Healthy Relationships, M/M, Smut in the future, headcanons, in canon, talking it out, thank god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-11 10:27:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11712516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arrowbrowsing/pseuds/arrowbrowsing
Summary: After the ballgame, where some light is shed on the fucking huge elephant in the room: the fact that Marvin and Whizzer are so hyper-attracted to each other they have to try again.





	1. Chapter 1

His heart rate had slowed, as well as his breathing. I remember when we first exposed ourselves to each other, my heart was beating so fast I didn't want him to get close. I was afraid I'd scare him away with how much he excited me, how much he turned me on, how when I looked at him, I didn't want anyone else. His head fell back, his mouth slightly open. I could stare at him forever. His messy hair, the small droplets of sweat on his forehead, the way his cheekbones were visible in the lighting of a single lamp, and the fact that he was here, with me. 

“Marvin, you know that it can't be how it was.”   
“Are you-”  
“They can be like they were, but I'm not- heh- losing anymore chess games.”   
“Hm.” A short pause, then a laugh. “What are you good at, then.”  
“Pfffft, you want to change things by showing I can kick your ass, is that really-” A sigh. “Marvin, that's not what I'm-”  
“I know, but let a poor ex-lover pay for what he's done to cast you away, please?” A pause.  
“I'm alright at racquetball.”   
“That's a start- and we'll only get farther, I can promise you, I'm not pigeon-holing you into any-”  
“‘Marvin, it's alright, I believe you. Let's just... pick up. Like nothing happened.” He glances at the bed, and he thinks I don't notice. I smile to myself.  
“Screwing. No better way to get back into it.” I raise an eyebrow and mimic his expression as he realizes I did.   
“I can and will leave at any time,” He says, developing more humor in his voice as he walks closer.   
“Of course,” I swallow. He knows what I hope he'll choose. He's got so much control, always did, and only now does he realize. He's inches away now, I glance at his lips then quickly look back up. But he notices glances too.  
“How much did you actually miss me?” I look away, biting my lip and laughing as he rests his arms on my shoulders.  
“A pathetic amount. Aren't I that enough, Whizzer?”   
“Well.” As if to look down on me, he straightens his posture and gives a slight pout. “You admitting that has made the proudest day of my life.” Whizzer rubs his thumb across my neck, laughing a few seconds after he finishes the sentence.   
I join in on the laughing, hesitantly at first. “I do deserve the babying,” I lean in and whisper, moving my hands to his hips unthinkingly. His stance shifted nearly immediately. I moved my neck back in an attempt to gage his reaction. I raised an eyebrow, he had gone from smiling and joking to...   
His eyebrows had pinched together, he closed his eyes, and-  
“Am I... over-” He kept his eyes shut.  
“It's fine,” he said, but incredibly breathily. He brought his forehead to mine and pressed his lips against my nose.  
“Just- tell me when I-” He moved his neck back, putting his nose beside mine.  
“I will,” he said. I could feel his breath against my lips.   
This is the love I would kill for.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a smut, haha. It is hella sad, actually. Whoops. None of y'all specified what you wanted.

“Whizzer saw a lot of people,” Mendel says off-handedly. The two of us sit in an empty room with uncomfortable and dimly colored couches with ridiculous floral patterns, where the AC is not functioning and I feel like I'm starting to lose my mind, and this is what Mendel has to fucking say?   
“Yes, he always did,” I wipe at my chin, staring at my former-psychiatrist with whatever glare Mendel can interpret on his own. “He only-” his voice shakes- God- “chose monogamy recently.” I wipe at my eyes, then check my fingers. I'm really getting sick of the endless breakdowns.   
“I'm sorry. I brought it up,” Mendel coughs awkwardly. He means it. And I knew exactly what he was implying. Of course I'd thought about everything that led to it, everything that could have been done to prevent it.   
It. Whizzer’s passing.  
And my eventual joining him.   
And to be honest, I want Mendel to bring it up. I want to fight, maybe to prove I didn't do this, that it's not my fault, it's just a cruel, cruel world that takes the best people and spares the worst. Or maybe I want to feel it again. The heat of anger, the fire behind hatred. Not just this pool of never ending sorrows that only gets deeper every time I remember a stupid thing Whizzer did, a ridiculous habit of his, a time where he held me so kindly or smiled so warmly that he forgot the man could do wrong, or when I saw his eyes fade, the immediate gloss that took over when life left. How his fingers fell limp and I knew I'd ever feel them move again. How when I finally looked away, looking back felt like I had been hit by a bus. That's what I'd felt for days, never dreaming, never eating, only drinking and waiting for myself to tire of swimming and finally drown. 

He smells good- tastes so good- I suck on a patch of exposed skin on his shoulder, biting the already affected skin. Whizzer only releases shaky breaths, no telling me to stop, inhaling sharply when I bite. I did it before to get a reaction. Now I was just so desperate to devour the man that he did it unthinkingly. Whizzer reaches down to hold my chin with his finger. He lifts my head up and we share a gaze we hadn't before, maybe we had, but it- Jesus, this felt so different.   
But I realized it's what I wanted.   
The slow, loving, lover’s sex. 

I drew circles on his chest. I watched the way his chest hair got tangled and would quickly be set loose and returned to it's spot. I looked over to Whizzer's sleeping face. I can't say I regret those 9 months. I regretted his leaving, of course, but even an asshole like me can tell that was for selfish reasons. I can't really say I've changed all that much. I still want to fight, I still want to see him squirm, but I also... I want to hold him for hours past sunrise. I want to kiss him and have it just be a gesture, not an invitation, and for him to do it too. And that seems to be the way we're going, and I'm not... protesting it. In fact, the idea of lacking constant unresolved tension sounds so... idyllic. I lean over to kiss Whizzer's cheek, just to see how it feels, and when I return to my spot, he's got a faint smile on his lips. That. That's good. Please, God, don't let me make the mistake of losing that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if this narratively doesn't make sense. I'm jumping around a lot, so that'd make sense.

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue? Of course the next chapter is just pure smut, if you felt blue-balled let me know, I might not write it off on my own time.


End file.
